On Purpose Everyday

Humbled

In the crowded hall she reached for me. She pulled me in close. She hugged me. In that hug there was a transfer of years of wisdom, faithfulness, pure love, and grace. The words that left her lips that were only meant for my ears in the moment, have stuck with me;
“You will be humbled.”
Me and that word have never really got along. For me, humbled, means a giving up of my will.
My feet have been back on US soil now for fifty days. My mind and heart are not fully here.
There is a daily struggle to find the joy, the happy, the peace, the want to be here.
It is not something I feel completely comfortable sharing. But maybe there is another soul who struggles.
For I have a team who ‘needs’ me to be here.
I owe it to them to plug in and be here.
Instead I find myself placing blame, finding fault, and pulling away.
My soul needs to be honest, this is not easy. Rather it’s hard. Hard to embrace the culture, the climate, the change.
There is always a need to submit and surrender just a little more.
Sadness.
Depression.
Feeling a lack of purpose.
Not knowing.
Asking why.
Darkness.
To be humbled and allow for the divine to enter and fill just a little more.
This is not eternity here.
A moment, a season.
To be humbled.
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord.
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord.
And He will lift you up.
And He will lift you up.
Knowing Jesus sees me. Even here in all my humanness. Knowing I am loved.

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